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Ozma's Guide to PO

Discussion in 'PO Classics' started by Ozma, Aug 30, 2011.

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  1. Ozma

    Ozma Grunt in the machine

    May 11, 2010
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    Written by someone other than Ozma.

    Table of Contents
    1) Channels
    2) Authoritah
    3) Getting Help and Learning
    4) Private Messages
    5) /Commands Owner
    6) General

    1) Channels

    #1 You are not worthy.
    #2 Clan tags are forbidden. Do not use them.
    #3 If you use clan tags, you will be seen as an idiot. Expect this. e.g. [LD]Jirachier
    #4 Learn how to moderate a channel before owning one.
    #5 Services are no substitute for knowing how to be a good channel op.
    #6 Do not complain that one of your channel ops has banned you.
    #7 If you ban yourself, do not ask how to unban yourself. You shouldn't be OP'ing anyways.
    #8 Access whoring is not allowed.
    #9 Do not ask why someone is banned.
    #10 Do not ask when they will be unbanned.
    #11 Do not ask if you can be banned.
    #12 Do not then ask if you can be unbanned.
    #14 Do not join channels in which you have not been invited.
    #14 You are not special if you have access on #Indigo Plateau.
    #15 If you do not know what #Indigo Plateau is, you are lucky.
    #16 If you want to find out, /join #Indigo Plateau.
    #17 If you managed to somehow get in and find that wasn't that bad, /join #Tohjo Falls.
    #18 You are now dead.

    2) Authoritah

    #1 Do not ask if you can become an Auth.
    #1 Do not ask why we are not incrementing rule numbers.
    #2 If you do not know what increment means, please /quit. It will decrease the number of idiots who use PO.
    #2 Do not complain that Auth can join more channels than you. It is best that you are limited, for everyone's sake.
    #3 Do not ban Auth from your channel, then later join #help and ask how to do something.
    #4 Owners are not obligated to help you. They are obligated to keep server from splitting, so complain at will if they fail.
    #5 Don't complain, however, if they rageban you in response.
    #6 If you troll an Auth, good luck getting unbanned.
    #7 If you openly state that you hate the Auth on the network, that is open invitation for them to ban you.
    #8 Never expect an Auth to be helpful, they have better things to do.
    #9 Do not ask the Auth if they get paid unless you are willing to send them $5.

    3) Getting Help and Learning

    #1 For God's sake, lern2google fgt.
    #2 Do not ask in #Help how to join channels, just /quit.
    #3 Do not join #Help without a brain.
    #4 If you do not have one, please go find one.
    #5 If you cannot find one, go steal it from someone else.
    #6 If you get banned from #help, you screwed up somewhere and should ask your parents why they didn't abort.
    #7 If you cannot form a question properly - do not ask it.
    #8 Do not ask a question if you aren't willing to google first.
    #9 Do not become angry if Ozma cannot help you. It's probably your fault.
    #10 Learn /rules and /commands before /commands mod and /commands /megauser
    #11 If you do not know what ownage is, please /quit.
    #12 If you do know what ownage is, please /die.
    #13 If you do not know what b& means, join #help and insult the Ozma.

    4) Private Messages

    #1 If someone asks "asl?", always reply that you are female. It is more fun that way.
    #2 Note: females on PO do not exist.
    #3 If someone private messages you randomly, ask why they are pmsing. If they don't get it you should promptly /ignore.
    #4 Otherwise, reply with random responses until they rage quit.
    #5 Always get consent before sending a PM to a user. Else it's considered rape.
    #6 Refusal to follow #5 leads to you being violated by your cell mate.

    5) /Commands Owner

    #1 Do not ask about owner commands.
    #2 Do not attempt to use owner commands.
    #3 Do not join #help and ask why you cannot use owner commands.
    #4 Do not ask about why you can't ask about owner commands.
    #5 Do not even think about owner commands, as they will not think about you.
    #6 Do not even read this section.
    #7 coyotte508, DN, Crystal Moogle and zeroality are exempt from all aforementioned rules.

    6) General

    #1 IP != Host.
    #2 Do not connect to PO if you are under the age of 13.
    #3 If you are under the age of 13, promptly notify the server pedophile.
    #4 If you do not know what PO stands for, please /quit.
    #5 Use memes responsibly.
    #6 PO relationships do not exist.
    #7 PO stalking is never a good thing to do and Ozma will smite you for it, but it can be lulzy if you are doing it right.
    #8 Do not keep an ownage score for yourself if you cannot count above 20 without assistance.
    #9 If you are a PO guru and don't like helping people, you are one of the lucky ones. Pray and thank whatever God you believe in every day.
    #10 It is not a botnet, they are spambots. Idiot.
    #11 Use everything in moderation, too much of a bad thing can get you banned.
    #12 As such, too much of a good thing can get you to quit IRL forever.
    #13 If you manage to get killed by Defender, you sir are retarded.
    #14 If you do not know what Defender is, join #donotjoin.
    #15 Do not join #donotjoin.
    #16 Refrain from speaking if you are a Guest.
    #17 Oak runs this.
    #18 Real trolls do not ever speak in channels.
    #19 You have been trolled.
    #20 for (int i = 26; i < 1990; i++);
    #23 Ozma cannot count.
    Joyverse likes this.
  2. Twistedspoon

    Twistedspoon Member

    Apr 17, 2011
    Likes Received:
    Very sexy nonetheless. Nice job! :)
  3. Donkey

    Donkey Banned

    Jun 30, 2011
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  4. Pizza

    Pizza I'm so bad at this game.

    Oct 30, 2010
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    I chuckled. Well done.
  5. twofivefive

    twofivefive don't call it a comeback

    Dec 28, 2010
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    Why isn't this stickied...
  6. HeroOfSinnoh

    HeroOfSinnoh Banned

    Oct 7, 2010
    Likes Received:
    This definitely needs a sticky. Explains the rules in depth.
    gg Ozma.
  7. PichiTheShinyPichu

    PichiTheShinyPichu I'm not amused

    Feb 18, 2011
    Likes Received:
    PO Trainer Name:
    Best guide ever.
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